The Reluctant Medium

Another insightful article by Melissa Van Rossum (with some comments from me!)

About a decade ago I was attending a church that sent out the minister’s upcoming sermons in their newsletter. Over the next month he would be teaching on “The Evils of Psychics, Astrology, Tarot and the Paranormal”

Uh-huh. That marked the last Sunday I attended that church.

A friend suggested I make an appointment with the minister and perhaps do a reading for him. She thought that might open his mind.

I didn’t follow through on that idea partly out of fear of what that minister’s potential reaction might be. He ran (and still runs) one of the largest conservative churches in Atlanta and wields a considerable amount of influence. If he had decided to toss my name out to the congregation that week I might still be getting phone calls. At the time I didn’t see much sense in stepping out in front of what looked to me like an oncoming bus.

But I also declined because the point of my readings and abilities are not to convert or to prove anything to anyone really.

I often wonder what that minister and the church members must think today of the popularity of Medium, Ghost Whisperer, Psychic Kids - Children of the Paranormal, Ghost Hunters, Paranormal State and Ghost Hunters International.

Even though they’re an organization that, in part, teaches a belief in life after death, I doubt they’d be open to any truth other than their strict interpretation of what happens after you die.

Ahhh, it’s my childhood all over again.

But thankfully, the veil continues to lift and their are more psychics and mediums living out loud who voice their experiences. God bless you all.

www.theirwayhome.com
www.allyouveeverknown.com
www.twitter.com/ghostguide
www.twitter.com/spiritualceo
www.blogtalkradio.com/divinesuccess

Here's what I think:

You’ve probably noticed by now, I’m a fan of Melissa’s work. I frequently agree and relate to what she has to say, which is why I choose to share certain articles of hers with you. This particular post struck a cord and hit close to home with me. I recently had someone walk out of my life abruptly after learning of my abilities. I had become close to their family over the past 5+ years. She chose to cut off contact due to her religious beliefs, thereby, me being a “danger” to her children. I was then written a letter outlining all of the biblical proof (and I use that word loosely here) that I was surrounded by nothing but “evil spirits and demons”. I know the intention of that letter was to sway me towards the god she claims exists, but completely achieved the opposite. It is that close-mindedness that I want no part of.

Mostly I am saddened that she is operating on a daily basis out of fear. I’ve lived that life. It is not a fun way to live.

I am also saddened by what her children may think of me. I had a bond with those kids and would never want them to believe I am “evil” or would ever cause them harm.

I would love to live in a world where people think outside the little boxes they cram themselves into.

I would love to live in a world where anything is possible. A world where it could even be possible that our faiths and belief structures may not be exactly right…and accept and embrace that. Be open to the possibilities.

A world where what happens after we die may not be as clear cut as some think.

Most of the time, the activity around here is only experienced by me, so I have a moment of joy when something happens for another to experience. Even better, when multiple people witness unexplainable events.

For example, we had my sisters and another friend over to hang out one night recently. Around 1:00 AM, we all went to the kitchen for a snack. Our friend had poured the final bowl of Cocoa Krispies (precious commodity around here) and set the bowl on a stool while waiting for my husband to retrieve milk from the fridge. While waiting, she turned her back to the stool and cereal bowl to engage in conversation with me. My husband was in the fridge with his back to the cereal bowl as well. Me and one of my sisters were the only ones who actually had the stool in our line of sight.

The bowl suddenly flipped off the stool resulting in a large scattering of the highly valued chocolaty cereal all over the kitchen floor. My sister didn’t say anything. The widening of her eyes said enough. My friend immediately blamed my husband for the tragedy, and an argument ensued over who must have hit the stool to cause the spillage. It was especially charged due to it being the last quantity of the delicious snack in the house! They both denied touching the stool. They were both truthful as well, since each of them were a few feet away from the bowl at the moment on question.

I just left the room giggling while they continued to figure out what actually happened. I knew what happened.

However, all the experiences here are not always that benign or entertaining. Every now and then, the revolving ghost door here lets in a nasty one. Most of our ‘friends’ only stay a few weeks at most, so we usually just ride it out knowing it won’t be long before they vacate. But we picked up one recently that was a little too aggressive to wait it out. I had to make some calls.

This particular spirit had been pretty aggressive with me in the way of hair pulling, pinching and pushing. I was annoyed for a while, but then it went too far.

My husband came to me one day, irate with the vein in his forehead throbbing. He asked me why I would slap our five year old across the face! Of course, I did not do such a thing and asked why he would ask me that. Our son had told him I did. Why would he say that? Later that night, I asked him at bed time why he told Daddy I did that.

His response was, “Because you did.”

I thought maybe he had dreamed this happening or there was some sort of other reasonable explanation. He said he couldn’t see me do it, but he was slapped on his face and since I was the only one home with him at the time, it must have been me (he still tries hard to logically explain things that happen around here in his own little five year old way). Although he was still trying to figure out how and why I did it.

I assured him it wasn’t me, but I would take care of it so that it didn’t happen again.

On another occasion during our aggressive guest's stay, my husband’s cousin was over watching some TV with me. I was lounging on my right side on the far right of the couch while she was sitting on the floor leaning back against the front of the left side of the couch. My attention was diverted from the television screen when I saw her head quickly jerk back against the couch in a very unnatural way. She then jumped up in fight mode certain that I had done the yanking. She quickly realized that it was against the laws of physics for me to have possibly pulled her hair with that kind of force and still be completely relaxed in the same location.

She then got a concerned look about her and asked, “Did that really just happen?!?”

All I could say was, “Welcome to my world.”

Phone calls were made and the date was set for a priest to visit the house. I’m not Catholic, but I’m game for anything we can do to solve the problem. My husband’s cousin requested to be present when we evicted the SOB that yanked her ponytail.

I’ve had a lot of crazy nights living in this house, but the night the priest was here ranks right up at the top.

(Stay tuned for details and vids...)

I have mentioned before that I have been a tour guide for The Spirits of La Grange ghost tours. In preparation for these tours, a local paranormal research team (PROOV) was called out to investigate some locations on the tour to gather additional information. As a tour guide, I was invited to tag along during the initial investigation of the various stops. The team was comprised of 5 or 6 investigators as well as the group’s clairvoyant.

The walk through finished up earlier than expected and someone, knowing what life was like at my house, recommended we use the extra time doing a walk through of my house. So that’s what we did.

The group entered my house loaded up with cameras, digital recorders and a clairvoyant. This was about five years ago, so I was not as comfortable with my abilities as I am now. I remember the clairvoyant asking me why I didn’t “embrace what I had”.

I wanted to flip her the bird.

However, I simply said, “No, I would rather you just talk them and let me know what I need to know.”

I had never experienced a clairvoyant personally, so I was a bit skeptical. But this woman blew me away. She gave us so much information about the history of my house, that she didn’t even know she was coming to by the way, that it took me weeks of research at the courthouse to verify all she had said. She knew names, dates and personal information about previous families here that I eventually verified through community members that have occupied my house in the past or at least knew who did (very small town).

Here’s the short list of some things she told us:

• Switch the baby to another room. What she didn’t know was that he was waking up all night terrified. He would wake up screaming and when we got to him he seemed genuinely frightened. He would scratch and pull at us to get as close as he possibly could and hold on with all he had. This had been going on since his birth. After we took the advice and switched him to another bedroom, his the night terrors significantly decreased. I don’t think we’ll ever know what the poor little guy was going through to cause such a reaction.

• She had drawn a “floor plan” of our house the night before she came over. Except, not as it is now, but how it was originally when I purchased it. She had no idea we had done the remodeling ourselves, so she was showing me the picture and explaining to what it used to look like as if I didn’t know already. And she was dead on.

• It was explained to us that there was an older couple where the man was “trapped” in the room where our bed was. And that he loved having the children around. What I found out was, through my mother’s electrician, is that when he lived in the house with his aunt and uncle, his uncle was confined to a recliner in that room due to the effects of diabetes making it unavailable for him to move around much. And he always kept candy in his pocket for the kids when they visited.

Those are just a few of the things she told us. I remember her stopping and looking at me to say “I don’t know how you live here”. Sometimes I feel the same way. She requested to not be brought back to my house for the full all-nighter investigation, or for any other reason for that matter.

We got some interesting pictures during that couple of hours.

During the investigation, books were being tossed off the shelves in the baby's room while the clairvoyant was in the room.

This is me freaking out a little because as I went to enter the room with the clairvoyant, I was grabbed by something around my waist and pulled back out.

Damn startle factor! I was not expecting that right then! Look closely for the couple of possible orbs, especially the one by my head. I don't usually put much stock in people's "orb" photos because most of them are moisture, bugs or dust. However, on this particular day, they only show up in the pictures (3 different cameras by the way) when there was activity. There were hundreds of digital shots taken throughout the investigation, most of them had no "orbs". I do find it intriguing that the orbs only showed up this day during moments of activity. Dust doesn't do that.

This is immediately afterward. Look closely...there is a possible orb at my knees.

Because of the evidence the group collected in the short preliminary visit, they did decide to come out for a full scale all nighter. Here are a few more pics collected during the second investigation.



Find more photos like this on The Reluctant Medium

My friends, Barbara and Farley, asked if I would join them to a return trip up to the old pharmacy to visit the spirit that I became fast friends with last time. I am always up for a little practice honing my skills, especially with a known friendly spirit.

This time was a little different.

We walked into the building and headed upstairs to his space. At first I felt like we were chasing him down as he kept moving around as to avoid us. So we decided to just have a seat in the middle of the dark room just as before.

I felt confused by the energy, because it was different that the past couple of times I have been in the building. But the friendly spirit I was looking for was definitely present. I found out later what all the confusion was.

We announced ourselves and let him know we had no recording devices or electronics of any sort. We just wanted to visit with him. We asked if he could do something to announce his presence as well. Immediately I began seeing bright streaks of light all around the room in front of us. After a few moments it was pretty clear that I was the only one seeing them.

I explained to him that, while I appreciated his efforts in response to our request, I was the only one that could see him. So I requested something that all three of us could see or hear.

The response to this request was pretty astounding and like nothing else I’ve ever experienced first hand.

All three of us noticed the floor starting to sway. I’m not sure how this effect was caused, because I’m fairly certain that the whole building was not actually swaying. Yet, all of us experienced the same sensation simultaneously.

Then, we began to hear a series of taps and pops across the pitch black room. When this started, I began to feel weak and nauseated. Then I began to vibrate.

Yes, vibrate.

I assumed the floor was vibrating and I was feeling it from the floor, but no one else could feel it. Both of my friends touched me and could feel the vibration. It was truly bizarre.

Barbara asked if I needed to leave because of my obvious discomfort, but I was intrigued by what was happening and was willing to endure the discomfort to follow through. After five minutes or so, though, I needed it to stop. I stated out loud that I understood that making the sounds was hard for him, and he was making it hard for me. Please stop.

The sounds immediately stopped. We didn’t hear one more tap or pop from across the room. Up until that point, I wasn’t entirely certain that the sounds we being caused by a spirit using me as a viable energy source to comply with our requests or just an old building settling in the cold temperatures. But in the next few moments following my request for him to stop, I began to feel back to normal and the vibration stopped. I was sure then exactly what had happened.

It was then that the energy confusion I felt earlier became clearer. I looked to the left and could see the silhouette of Farley because of a small light source from downstairs. Then a dark shadow of a large man walked quickly behind him and into the darkness. I caught a glimpse of him again on the other side of the room before he disappeared into the darkness completely. Before I could even say anything, Barbara asked me if I sensed a presence to our left behind Farley. She didn’t see him, but it was a strong presence and easy to sense. We all noticed the energy difference the room held.

He didn’t feel aggressive or dangerous, but very protective and seemed irritated that we were there. His vibe was not welcoming. This explained the confusion I had coming into the building. He had yet to show himself to me before in this space.

With this energy shift, we went ahead and packed it in and went home.

I got in my car and shut the door and noticed the energy in my car was no different than in the building.

This guy is trying to follow me home!

Well, I did fail to tell them all on this trip that they were not to follow me out of the building. You know, minor details, right? When I pulled up to my house just a few blocks away, I told him that my house is crowded enough and he would be sleeping in the car tonight and was not allowed in my house.

The next morning my car battery was dead.

Maybe he did sleep in the car. Hmmm…

He must have not enjoyed his sleeping accommodations, because I haven’t sensed him around since that night and have had no more trouble out of my car battery.

Not everything in this house is all that uncommon. There isn’t always a goat in the house or things flying across the room.

We experience fairly common phenomena around here that I've heard others claim happens with their hauntings as well. Footsteps during the night, the dogs barking at “nothing”, cold spots, you know, things like that. And the kids toys are always playing on their own. We do live about 50 yards from a very active train track, so at first we thought it was just the vibrations setting them off. However, that just simply isn't the case. After living here over 10 years, we are pretty familiar with the train and it’s effects, and I’m sure the train has set off a toy or two, but sometimes we know it isn’t the train or toy malfunction.

Case and point: I had a friend over on a night that was particularly active. This is the same friend that found the change stacked in the fridge, so she's aware of our little situation over here. But she is not so interested in being present for our ghosts mischievousness. This was one of those nights when the toys kept going on "by themselves" and each time she got more and more jumpy. Trying to accommodate my guest, I got up and actually turned them all to the 'off' position. I knew it wouldn't help, but it seemed to make her feel better. Shortly after I sat back down on the couch, sure enough, the toys started singing little songs and lighting up. I giggled. She, very seriously, looked at me and said, "You might think this shit is funny, but I'm not laughing! I'm out!" And with that she up and left.

Now, I know that she’ll come back over, but sometimes our friends will experience something here at the house that keeps them from ever setting foot back in our house.

My sister-in-law was over one evening and was sitting on the floor with my husband in front of me sitting on the couch. She is Iranian and has long, very thick hair that she had in a braided ponytail. I watched as her hair was slowly lifted in the air and then quickly slammed onto her back hard enough to send the rubber band flying across the room and a welt left on her back from the impact.

That was the last time she was here.

There are others who think my house is a novelty and try to provoke things to happen. This behavior annoys me because I’m always the one left here alone when they go home. My sister is one of these people. My favorite experience was when she was clearly asked to leave by one of our ghosts. Here’s how it went down…

One morning I was making coffee as my husband showered. I set a spoon down next to the coffee maker and walked away for roughly two minutes. When I returned, I found the spoon bent in half. Truthfully, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. That startle factor gets me every time! I picked up the spoon and took it into the shower and showed my husband asking, “What do you make of this?”.

His response was, “Should we call somebody?”

So, my sister heard this story and decided next time she was over that she would get them to do it again for her. I try to explain to her over and over that they aren’t performance artists and don’t seem to appreciate being treated as such. She ignores me.

Next thing I know, she’s laying out spoons on the counter and demanding an encore. Which she obviously did not get. So the rest of the evening, against my wishes and advice, she was taunting and provoking to get a response. I guess they got sick of her after a while because during one of her taunting sessions, the front door to my house flew open! She got up to close it and as she was placing her butt back on the couch, it happened again. And then again, and maybe another time. After several attempts to get her to exit the front door, she finally got the message and shut up. When she stopped with the taunts, the front door remained closed and she was once again welcome to stay as a guest in our home.

Occasionally, I take a step back and look at the life I have and wonder how I have gotten used to it. I remember the first time this thought occurred to me. I was sitting on the couch watching TV early in the morning when an empty cup flew off a chair, went through the air across my field of vision and hit the wall to my right.

The odd part was when I realized that I didn’t even glance to my right to take note of the cup laying on the floor after it bounced off the wall. That’s the moment I realized how strange it is that that sort of event can happen without note being taken in this house.

Every now and then something just inexplicable happens around here. Although, daily life around here would be pretty baffling for most, but sometimes it’s just stranger than the usual activity for us.

It was a regular weekday. I followed the usual routine of feeding the goat in the back yard, putting the dogs in the crates, locking up and heading out to the studio just a short time before my husband, Devo, was due home. The only thing that was out of the ordinary was UPS had delivered a 40 lb bag of dog food that I had left sitting in the living room since it was too heavy for me to take to the dogs’ room. That’s why we have husbands right?

Right on schedule, Devo arrived home shortly after I left. The curious part is what he came home to.

He had trouble opening the front door. He claimed it felt like he was pushing something heavy out of the way to enter the house. We only use the front door since the other doors in the house have slide locks as opposed to keyed entries. After a great deal of struggle, he gained entry and found it was the box containing the 40 lb bag of dog food against the door causing his trouble. For those of you saying to yourselves, “couldn’t it have just tipped over to block the door?”, I say, the box was at least six feet away from the door and would have had to have moved quite a way to get to it’s current location. This was just the beginning of the weirdness.

The next step of his routine was to let the dogs out of the crates I had stored them in while they were alone. When he opened the door to the dogs’ room, he did not find either of the dogs in their crates, but a miniature pygmy goat in the house instead! Luckily, she hadn’t caused any damage or mess so he guided her back out the back door. What confused him at this point was that he assumed I had left the door ajar when doing the pet duties, but the door was securely locked when he went to let her back out. And there were the dogs enjoying the freedom of the back yard.

You may remember that my husband hasn’t always been so accepting that the ghosts are the cause of our perplexing issues. I wasn’t due home for a few hours, so he had some time to contemplate a logical explanation for how this scenario had unfolded.

His rational and logical explanation : An elaborate prank had been pulled by an unknown person using the following steps:

• Scale the six foot privacy fence to enter the back yard

• Find an unlocked window, which are all at least 8-10 feet above the ground, and enter the house

• Move the 40 lb bag of food so that it blocks entry via the front door

• Stop to laugh at the thought of Devo pushing and pushing the front door to get in

• Let the dogs out of their latched crates into the back yard

• Allow the goat to come in as the dogs are going out

• Relock all doors

• Climb back out the window, somehow reclosing screens and storm windows and jump the 8-10 feet down

• Again, scale the fence to leave the yard

• Laugh all night about the joke played on us while putting away the ladders that were necessary to complete this job

OK, so this was the only explanation he could come up with and even he acknowledged that it was a little far-fetched and probably was indeed, not what took place.

My simple explanation: The ghosts did it.

My house is pretty crowded. Not just because of the four of us living here, but everywhere I turn I seem to be bumping into someone. I’ve managed to let go of the fear associated with seeing ghosts, but the startle factor is still a big issue for me. I just can’t seem to get used to walking into a room and finding a stranger looking at me and then disappear, or just hang out, depending on the day.

The first ghost I actually saw with my eyes in this house was a little girl. She looked about 5 years old, but I knew she was actually 8. Again, I don’t really know the ins and outs of how this ability works, so you’re just going to have to take my word for it. She was skinny with long stringy blonde hair. She never said a word to me. Just watched my every move when she was around. She would follow me from room to room on some days. I remember one day, my husband was rewiring the entertainment center and she was standing right behind him watching with great interest. My husband doesn’t experience the activity at the level I do, so he was completely unaware of her proximity, but me constantly looking over his shoulder finally prompted a “What?” out of him. I explained to him that she was right behind him watching. I’m sure he rolled his eyes (at least on the inside) and went about his business.

There was nothing scary about her. She seemed sad. Lonely, maybe? I have no idea to this day who she was, or why she hung around. I do believe we helped her move on and I’ll be posting more about that experience later on (we even captured that on video), but for now, I’ll share a little more about daily life in this house.

I used to keep all of our change separated in glass cups in the bedroom. You know, pennies in one, nickels in another and so on. My husband was working at a restaurant that evening and a friend of mine and I decided to go there for dinner to see him. No one was left in the house while we were gone. When we got back, we went to the fridge to put the leftovers away and both gasped when I opened the door…

Stacked up neatly in the refrigerator, was all the change from those cups from the bedroom. Today, I wouldn’t think twice about something like that happening, but at the time the house was still new and I was getting used to all the daily weirdness.

You may have guessed by my sorting change, that I like things to be a certain way. This trait was not just with my extra coins. It pretty much applies to everything. My organization may not make sense to most, but it’s my organization and I liked it to remain untouched (I use past tense because after 2 kids, that pretty much went out the window for my sanity's sake). My husband liked to mess with me a bit from time to time regarding this obsession of mine, so when the medicine cabinet was arranged differently often when I opened it, I would gripe at him to stop doing that. He would always deny it. I would always think he was lying and the fight continued the next time I opened the medicine cabinet to find it rearranged. He swore he didn’t do it, but I know he secretly enjoyed my discomfort about it. Then after he had not been in the house for several days and it happened again, I figured it out. I had to apologize for the accusations.

I wonder if that ghost was laughing every time I accused him.

Another phenomenon we have around here, I simply refer to as “The Chatter”. There will be a very small space that when you move into it, you can hear what sounds like crowd noise. Many people talking, but I am always unable to make anything out. The fact that I almost can make out words sometimes sucks me in and I listen really hard for a long time. I’ve yet to hear anything intelligible. It’s very frustrating.

The weird thing is (because that’s not weird enough, right?) the sound comes from a very small location seemingly floating at various heights and locations throughout the house. I’d say it’s an area about the size of tennis ball. If you find The Chatter, and move an inch away, you can no longer hear it. But move your ear back into it’s current location, and there it is again!

Unlike most happenings here, I’m not the only one to experience this. I remember the first time my husband heard it. He was laying on the couch and must have moved into it’s space because he got a strange look on his face. When I asked him what was up, he gave a quick, “shh!”.

“What is that?”, he asked.

After he described what he was hearing, I explained about The Chatter and that I hear it frequently.

After knowing all I know about the history and location of my house, I’ve got a little theory cooked up about what’s going on with that. My house seems to be a crossroads of sorts for spirits and I think every now and then that it just translates into something audible.

I’ve gotten used to it, but I still stop to listen every time, just to see if maybe, just maybe, I can make out something this time. I’ll let you know if I ever do.

I had pretty much settled in to ignoring my experiences most of the time, but did still have an interest in the paranormal for obvious reasons. I wanted (and still want) answers to the bazillion questions I have always had.

So I passively watched television shows of a paranormal nature like Ghost Hunters, Paranormal State and Medium.

Ah, Medium…

While I can’t say my experiences are just like Allison Dubois’s, I connected with her story on some level.

Then I read her book.

It was literally life changing for me. I can count on my fingers how many books I have read from cover to cover willingly in my lifetime. Reading is probably one of my least favorite pastimes. I read to gather the information I need and that’s about it for me. But I decided to pick up her book, “Don’t Kiss Them Good-Bye”.

In the second chapter she tells about her first experience with her deceased great-grandfather. She was then promptly told by her mother that she has an over-active imagination and she learned to hide her ability. How I can relate! I was hooked at this point. I felt like I wasn’t the only one! I felt comforted in some distant and weird way. This book suddenly became my friend. Allison became my friend…well, at least her story did.

In another chapter “Kindergarten Mediums”, she speaks of her kids being gifted and how she deals with that. It was really that chapter that made me realize that I really did need to suck it up, accept this thing and do it for my son.

Needless to say, this book had a huge impact on my decision to open up. Even if you’re not in my situation, it’s still a good read if you’re interested in mediumship at all.

My good friend and the host of Dimensions Radio, Chris McGill, did an interview with her for his paranormal radio show. Listen to it below:

Growing up, and even into my early adulthood, I don't ever remember asking myself, "Why am I here? What's my purpose? What's the meaning of Life?". Just never really came up for me. I've never been a dreamer. I never had aspirations. Just never has been my nature. I didn't dream of my wedding day like most little girls. Or a big fancy house to live in. Or what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was asked the question, I'm sure, when I was 7 years old or thereabouts, and probably gave a placating answer with a cute 7 year old smile. But things just are how they are for me. At least that's how it always was. Now I'm starting to wonder.

I feel like I made it through some obstacles and came out standing up and holding on to my belief structure, or lack there of, really. I come from a family densely populated with Christians. Every corner you look in, you'll find them. And not even the hypocritical Easter once a year variety. I'm talking the every Sunday No-Matter-What kind of Christians.

As a free-thinking adult, I am quite grateful to my mother for not forcing the religion down my throat. I was allowed to pick where and when I went to church. I never felt forced. If you ask my momma though, she'll say she "failed me" in that regard, which makes me sad because it's one of the things I'm so appreciative of. So, throughout my adolescence I did attend a Methodist church (I am now a recovering Methodist). I'm looking around and everyone else seemed to be getting something I just wasn't getting. I'm a determined person, so if there was a bible study, I was there. If there was a choir to sing in, I was there. If there was a mission trip to take, yup, I was there. After a while, I felt like I had as much information as I needed to gather. Then I looked around and just thought,

"Really? You people are buying this?".

And that was pretty much the end of that. I just don't buy it. Believe what you want to believe. Really. It's fine with me. I encourage you to find your own personal truth. I'm not a real faith-based gal. I need some tangible proof, folks. Some man on a pulpit reading me things from the perspective of some other man I have no connection with didn't sit well with me. He's telling me I just have to take his word for it and it won't be proven until I'm dead? I personally believe that the reason a lot of the ghosts hanging around are doing so because they believed in the judgment they would face at the time of their death and are simply scared to death (pardon the pun) to continue on their journey. It never sounded like something I wanted to do.

Like I said, that was pretty much the end of that for me.

The point is, I didn't cave. I was strong enough to make the decision based on the information provided to me and stand by it. There has to be purpose for that, right? Otherwise, I'd be sitting in a pew with my Nanny on Sundays. Nothing would make her happier. But I feel like that is not included in my purpose. I have other things to do with my spiritual energies.

Then I look back over the past few years and I notice that things seemed to fall into place for me to accept and develop this ability. I moved into a haunted house, possibly, the most haunted house ever. Seriously, it's crazy over here. (I'll be telling you some more about that later on). I began to meet some like-minded, or at least open-minded people that allowed me to open up about this little by little. My son came along and became the "why" that tipped the scales. The pieces just fell into place in a way that the Universe might as well have been screaming directions/suggestions/intentions at me at the top of her lungs. I guess I'm dense. I'm on the right road now though. Got it, Universe! Got it.

There must be a purpose, right?

Now the questions come...

Why am I here?

Why can I do the things I can do?

Why this place? This time? These people?

And as time goes on, I keep running into other little side abilities I have (another story for another time...it's coming...I promise). Every time I bump into one of those additional abilities, it just creates more questions. This cannot be a random thing. I do not believe in a god, but I do believe in a spirit and a soul and things most people cannot see. I can see them. It's all the proof I need.

What am I supposed to do with this?

What is my purpose?

That's the question I'm determined to answer. It may take the rest of my life, but I'm pretty tenacious. Stick with me on my journey. There's always room for one more. Maybe we can help each other along the way.

The plan for the evening was to investigate two locations. The main location has been investigated several times and usually we have good results (any results are good when you're ghost hunting though). However, this particular evening was pretty dead (no pun intended). I had only one experience all evening of someone/thing touching my back and giving me a frustrated exhale sound in my left ear. As far as I know, we didn't catch anything on video or audio either. I'll take a step back in time and relay a little story about the previous investigation of this particular site.

We had split into two groups with two team members leading those who purchased tickets for the evenings events. The group I was with was on the second floor preparing for an EVP session in an area well known to have activity of a woman and a ghost cat. The lead investigator grabbed his 2-way radio to let the other group know we were turning off communication via 2-ways to do the EVP session. All participants were in the same room. As he picked up his radio, this god awful painful and animalistic sound came out of all of the radios. We naturally assumed we had some sort of interference with another set of radios, but the sound was terrible and it sparked a 5-10 minute discussion of what the sound was. After ideas were thrown about, we decided we would probably never know what the sound actually was and decided to move on with the session. Radios off. Everyone silent. The the lead investigator hit record on the digital recorder. We asked a lot of questions hoping to come up with some irrefutable proof of communication from a ghost. Well, ask and you shall receive, right? What we caught was not in reply to any of our questions asked of the spirit during the session, but an answer to the burning question, "what was that sound coming out of the 2-way radios?" Here's what we caught:




It clearly is saying, "Cat. It's the cat." This answer came as soon as the recorder was turned on before any questions were asked. I was in the room when we caught this. No one in that room said a word. The investigative team was excited beyond words. As a paranormal investigator, you may listen to hours and hours of audio and never hear anything. So it makes all of those mundane hours worth it when you catch something like this.

But back to the evening at hand, Halloween Night. Like I said before, the main location was very quiet and uneventful, so we decided to head across the alley to the second location. In previous years, during the ghost tours, this location has held several personal accounts of employees past and present, but the tour takers generally only got to experience the retelling of the stories. For some reason, this year was different though. Many tour groups throughout the two months had heard loud banging sounds and heavy footsteps on the second floor. This is why we chose this as a second investigation location. Now, if you ask the ticket holders, they would probably tell you that location was quiet as well, but a few of us had an amazing experience.

As one of the tour guides had the entire group gathered around a table telling them the history and personal experience stories of the building, I became aware of a man standing in the doorway that led to the only set of stairs up to the second floor. This time I did not actually see him with my eyes, I just knew he was there. And being reluctant to accept this ability I have, I cannot tell you how I knew he was there. I just did. It's something we're both going to have to accept. As I walked towards him, he backed up and went back around the corner and stood there. I waited a few minutes and then proceeded to step toward him again. This time as I rounded the corner, he moved up to the first landing of the stairs. I had attracted the attention of another fellow tour guide and explained my sense to him. Then the lead investigator came to me with his night shot camera in hand and recommended that just the two of us go upstairs and check it out before the crowd. I agreed. I think he has much more faith in my ability than I do, but I was game. I wanted the practice. So with camera, flashlights, and 2 digital recorders in hand, we started up the stairs out of sight of the rest of the group. I told him the man was very apprehensive of us coming towards him and we needed to move slowly as to not run him off. It took us several minutes of slow moving to get to the second floor. As we were making the slow and steady climb, the group out front, I found out later, had heard footsteps moving quickly across the ceiling deeper into the second floor. Naturally, they assumed it was the two of us. But we were not even up there yet. When we did enter the second floor, I knew he was hiding in the far corner. Later I found out that is the exact location of where the footsteps heard were headed. (I love a little validation).

The only way I can explain the communication I had with this entity from here on out is by emotion transfer. I did not see or actually hear him like I do sometimes, I just knew by how I was feeling what was going on for him. So I sat in the middle of the floor and told him I would not be coming any closer to him and he could come to me without fear. Then I knew he would not come any closer unless our lights were out. So, we went dark. And when I say dark, I mean very dark. There is not a crack of light up there as there are no windows, only concrete walls. I felt him relaxing and beginning to come near us. As he was coming closer, my partner's digital recorders battery drained and cut off. He was using it as an energy source, I believe, for what happened next. I began to get uncomfortably cold. I was shivering, but had an overwhelming feeling of happiness. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was smiling from ear to ear, just from the emotion transfer. Then he ran his hand from the top of my head down to my shoulder following my hair. I felt like I had just made a friend.

We stayed for a few minutes to explain to him what we were doing there and that several more people would be coming up there a few at a time to meet him. My partner had also experienced the sharp temperature shift and on the way down the stairs, also felt himself touched on the back. As the groups went up, no one had any experiences with him at all. My partner believed he had cut and ran from the influx of people in his space that is generally undisturbed for the majority of the time.

But the two tour guides that hadn't been up there yet were undeterred by the lack of activity. They asked if I would join them again upstairs and felt we may have better luck because they were familiar to him and I had just had some communication. I said sure, why not?

When we made our way back upstairs, I simply sat down in the previous location and turned off the lights we had and announced my presence and my intentions. It was almost immediate when I felt him return to me. I could tell you my account of the events, but I like the way the other tour guides describe their experience of that night, so I'll let them tell you their version and say I agree with their accounts:

Suddenly Jamie put her hand out in front of her and said "He's right here, do you feel him?" I put my hand where she indicated and at first didn't feel anything and then I believe I felt a very distinct temperature difference - then he moved - he seems to be extremely shy or elusive - he moved over to Jamie's right - then directly behind her. She told me to put my hand behind her head and see if I felt anything.

The experience I am about to tell you about is one I am still trying to process in my mind. I have had some pretty unbelievable experiences during my adventurous life, and this one ranks right up there at or near the top. I also believe that I am of relatively sound mind and have a pretty good grip on reality. I am aware of the power of suggestion and believe I can detect the difference in most cases. There have been times when I have questioned some experiences as being just that, was my mind playing tricks on me or were some of those experiences real?

This experience I believe was 100% real. As I placed my hand behind Jamie I got a very distinct sensation in my hand as I put my hand in that spot. I could feel the difference by pulling my hand out and putting it back. This is hard to describe, but it was a sort of shimmery, very mild tingly, pulsing electrical charge. Not at all unpleasant - not the sort of tingling when your hand "goes to sleep". I was hyper aware and sitting there in complete awe. I could very distinctly feel the energy in a defined area. Then Jamie asked "him" if it was OK for Farley to experience him. Farley then asked his permission and placed his hand right next to mine. The sensation I was experiencing was then confirmed by Farley, who described the very same feeling - he then said it was almost, but not quite like the sensation you get when you stick your tongue on a nine-volt battery. I pulled my hand away to give Farley the space and the sensation left my hand - I then put my hand back next to Farley's and the sensation was back. We were almost giddy at that point - words just do not explain that feeling. We just sat there experiencing the sensation. Then
Jamie told him that we were going to leave and would take everyone with us. We thanked him and left.

Now for Farley's account of the same experience:

...thus when i put my hand into the area, i immediately felt the tingle, shimmeryness... little electric pulses in the ends of my fingers... very light, very pleasant, in retrospect, think the 9-volt on the tongue but at half of the intensity.. very light....

it was then that i described what it felt like and barbara confirmed that she had experienced the same pulses.... the same physical sensation...

just to clarify... barbara gave no description of what she physically felt other than she was experiencing something.... didn't want anyone to think that power of suggestion had influenced what i physically felt in terms of the shimmery tingleness (the best -unfortunately- set of words i can come up with to describe it.)...

This particular experience was important to me because it was the first time I feel like I used this ability and had complete control over it. I called him to me and really listened to him. Up until that point, I had always "accidentally" had experiences with ghosts and usually had fear about me as I did. This time the fear was absent and the experience was purposeful. I am grateful that I was able to facilitate an experience for my friends as well. I learned a lot that evening about what I can do and that fear simply isn't necessary. To my friends that were with me when I learned this very important lesson, I thank you.

I'm taking a break from the history of my journey to chronicle a few recent experiences I have had.

I am involved in a local Ghost Tour organization where the funds raised go towards revitalizing my small and very haunted hometown. We have a pretty amazing history here and actually have the only working Main Street left in the country where active railroad tracks still run straight down the center of the road. People from out of town freak out a little the first time you drive them on the tracks, not just across them. Although, 35 very slow trains every day essentially stopping the city for 10-15 minutes each does get a little old. I have to keep reminding myself it's a one of a kind thing to appreciate, especially when I'm late getting to my destination. But I do like being involved in events that help restore and preserve our small community and it's buildings.

This year, we not only did three nights a week of walking tours through the city for the two months preceding Halloween, but also did The Great Ghost Steak Outs. This entailed, for the ticket buyer, dinner and an investigation of a haunted location with a local paranormal research team. The Steak Out on Halloween was a special one as it was from dinner to breakfast and at two separate locations. Big night! I was excited!

The day before Halloween, I was alone working on putting away laundry and reorganizing my son's clothing. For this I required use of my digital labelmaker. I was the last person to use the device (I checked) and if you own one of these, you know it will hold the last word or phrase typed into it until the next typed word or phrase. The last time I used it was also for the purpose of sorting clothes, so I expected it to read something like "pajamas" or maybe "socks". Imagine my startle when I turned it on and read "we are coming soonn". Yes, spelled with two "n"s. WTF? Seriously, I set it down and left the house to sit on the trunk of my car. You see, unexplainable things happen in my house all the time. Daily, in fact. Such as spoons bending, cups flying across the room, things disappearing and turning up in odd places. These things sometimes confound me, but usually don't scare me. The feeling I got in my gut when I read that message was terrible. I was genuinely scared. I didn't know why. I just was. I regained logic for a moment and called my husband, just to verify he wasn't screwing with me. He said he hadn't touched it. His exact response was, "So, are you ready to move now?". Then my next call was to my friend on the paranormal research team to see what he thought about it. He recommended I talk to the group clairvoyant tomorrow night when I saw her at the Steak Out. I have met this woman a handful of times, but do not know her well. I do trust her ability though, as she has proven her skill to me ten fold in the past. I agreed to talk to her about it to gain her insight on the message since I had none.

When I arrived, a little late, to the Steak Out, the group was finishing up dinner. So I took the opportunity to pull her aside to speak to her. My friend had already apprised her of my situation a few minutes before my arrival. What she told me freaked me out even more on one level, but on another made me feel much better. That message was not for me at all. It was obviously for her. She proceeded to tell me of a "dream" she had the night before where she ended up channeling someone/thing that used that exact phrase of "we are coming soon" a number of times. This being didn't sound pleasant in her recall, so I am glad the message wasn't for me! But seriously, what am I now? A psychic secretary? Not in my job description. I was concerned that whatever sent the message obviously knew I would be using my labelmaker just in time to get the message to her the next day. I feel "watched" all of the sudden. By someone/thing other than the usual suspects that are always here at my house. We left it that I would just contact her if anything else popped up, but we feel it was a one time thing because I was going to see her the next day. I see her rarely, so hopefully I will not be taking messages for her any longer. Or if I do become the Psychic Secretary, the messages will be of a less threatening nature from here on out.

Now, on to the events of the actual investigation....(that's Part II)