The Reluctant Medium

Another insightful article by Melissa Van Rossum

As an empath and a psychic, I’ve interacted with ghosts all of my life. When I was five, one of them became my favorite playmate and stayed with me for several years. My family called her my “invisible friend”. Ghosts are everywhere - churches, bars, historical sites - and occasionally they plant themselves as uninvited guests in people’s homes. Though not all of them are as friendly as my childhood friend was.

One ghost whom I met a few years ago, was a man who had committed suicide in his home. Blinded by despair and fueled by rage, he shot himself in the head. Years later, the house had been sold to new owners, but the original owner stayed on in what he believed to still be his home.

He took pleasure in haunting the new family whenever he could, and enjoyed a real charge out of their fearful and angry reactions. The mother of the new family was sensitive to the ghost’s presence and she knew whenever he was around. Rather than being bothered by him though, she considered it a novelty to have a ghost in her house. Even though his energy was rageful and depressed, she ignored the impact this had on her homelife and her family.

Finally, at her family’s encouragement, she went to a local metaphysical store to seek out a way to send him home. They sold her an oil called dragon’s blood and a smudge stick, telling her these items would make the ghost would go away. And of course, these things didn’t work.
When I was much younger and trying to get the ghosts to leave my home and property, several other psychics told me that the ghosts were there because of the wartime history of the surrounding land. They recommended I hold a ceremony where I blessed the land and assured me the ghosts would go away. They didn’t. In fact, they stood around and watched me and I conducted my ceremony.

I’ve found that purification and blessing ceremonies, while useful in their own right, usually do more harm than good if you’re trying to get rid of a ghost. Why? Because they don’t work. And that often generates more fear.

Getting rid of a ghost isn’t hard if you know what you’re doing. I know. I’ve guided thousands of them home. But most people are truly very afraid of ghosts and at the very least, they are negatively affected by their unsettling energy. When people feel afraid they can become desperate. And once they become desperate, they open the door for someone to take advantage of them.

Too often, in situations such as these, there is someone willing to sell you something like an oil or a smudge stick or a ceremony, that may very well be effective for other things, but these things won’t remove a ghost from your property.

In my book, Their Way Home, My Adventures as a Ghost Guide, I share the process I use to guide ghosts home. It’s simple, easy to follow and anyone can do it. I enjoy sharing my book and process with people because it puts the power back in their hands, where it belongs.
Melissa Van Rossum is an accomplished psychic, empath and author. It is her life’s work to help people awaken to their dreams by showing them how to tap into their own Divine Guidance. Their Way Home shares stories of her encounters with real life ghosts who searched her out in their quest to find their way home.

Another insightful article by Melissa Van Rossum

Children tend not to doubt what they see and sense as adults often do. When someone is in the room with them they acknowledge that person - whether or not that person has a body.

It’s usually only after repeatedly being told that they’re making things up that children begin to doubt what they see, feel and hear.

If you interact with a child who tells you about something you can’t yet see or sense, flow with it. Validate it for them or give them comfort if that’s what they need. Just don’t discount them.

Let them teach you how to trust yourself again.

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In my experiences, ghosts have different personalities just as much as living people do. I don’t know if they are the same personalities that they had in their life here on Earth, because I’ve yet to come across a ghost I knew while they were living. But I bet they’re similar. And just like people, some of them are sweet as can be and some of them are just nasty to deal with. I thought I’d share a few examples of some of the more memorable spirits I have encountered inside my house.

This was the first ghost here in the house that scared the bejesus out of me. I walked out of my bathroom and saw him on the stairs sitting with his chin in both hands staring at me. He looked harmless enough. He didn’t say a word. But the vibe coming off of this spirit was alarming. Something about the energy of this kid sent my heart rate skyrocketing and I ran past him to get to my front door. This was one of the nights my husband came home from work to find me waiting on the porch so I wouldn’t have to go back in the house alone. This was the one and only time I encountered him.


I’ve written about this sad little girl before. She was not a nuisance at all. For years, she just followed me from time to time around the house seemingly for no other reason but to have company. Maybe she saw me as a maternal figure. I’m not sure. I’m hopeful that she is with her family again as she isn’t with me anymore.


This guy showed up at an inopportune time (for him anyway). I saw him several times. Sometimes he would just walk into the room, look at me as if he expected something from me and then walk out when I didn’t acknowledge him. He was new to being a ghost I think. He looked like anyone else you would pass at the mall with his modern clothing and hairstyle. One night, he leaned over my bed while I was laying down for the evening and said calmly, “I need your help with something.” Why this was bad timing is that I had no idea what I was doing with this ability. He was the first one that straight up asked for my help. I simply ignored him the best I could because what was I supposed to do? Now I would treat that situation very differently. He became rather insistent and imposing. His purpose for me was monumental though. I became so aggravated with his constant presence so close to me that one evening, I just turned around to face him and “pushed” him back. I have no idea how I did it, I just know that he backed off and left me after a couple more days. We refer to this “pushing back” ability around here as my Jedi Mind Trick. As annoyed as I was with him at the time, I hope he knows how grateful I am that he taught me that I can have some level of control. This allowed me to let go of the fear and move forward. So, thank you Man That Needed Help.


I have also mentioned this guy. He was the one that drove me nuts with the whistling for weeks on end. He falls into the category of the ghosts that just do what they do with little regard for getting attention. I wouldn’t file him under residual haunt though because when I asked (or demanded more like it) that he stop, he did. I think he simply had no idea how much his behavior was bothering me.


For a while, I had a very gentle woman hanging out here. She was very polite and seemed respectful of privacy. She was with me pretty much everywhere I went, except my bedroom or the bathroom. It was as if she knew those were my two spaces that it would be inappropriate to intrude upon. I so appreciated that and wish all ghosts adhered to this philosophy. I hate taking a shower knowing that someone is right on the other side of the curtain. Or changing my clothes in my bedroom with an unseen (or seen as the case may be) audience.


Minou was our cat. For quite some time after she died, I would “trip” over her being underfoot, just as she did in her lifetime. I would see her tail wrap around my legs and almost fall to avoid stepping on her. But when I looked around to catch a glimpse, she was always gone. I haven’t seen her in quite some time. I’m guessing the new cat ran her off. Minou was definitely an only cat type of pet. I believe animals have spirits just as we do and there is no limitations on what kind of spirits can become ghosts.

With each ghost I encounter, I learn a little bit more. Some I can’t wait to be rid of, some I am intrigued by and some have become friends in a strange way. Whatever the case, I’m appreciating the lessons.