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The Why

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Something I have spent the majority of my life avoiding is ghosts. I have had interactions with them for as long as I can remember and if you ask my mom, even before I can remember. I have avoided them partially out of fear built up over the years, but originally I avoided them because of the stigma and the loneliness I experienced being that kind of "different".

I've decided to stop avoiding them. I'm taking baby steps to embrace this ability and learn what I need to learn to still feel in control of my pragmatic life. Why now? What changed?

My son. I have 2 sons, but only one has exhibited signs that are all to familiar to me. It began in his infancy. He woke up many nights screaming and trembling and seeming genuinely frightened by something. He would also tell us of how "shadows were pinching him" and how all the talking in his room was keeping him awake. We've also watched him play and interact with people we couldn't see. He has also been able to answer questions or complain about orders that haven't been spoken out loud yet but were being thought of at that exact moment. This particular skill has lessened over his five years, but we still have a kid with an extraordinary gift on our hands.

I want him to feel supported and accepted. I want him to know that someone understands what he's dealing with. But first, I must allow myself to accept my own "gift". How can I lead and support him unless I do?

So I am going to start at the beginning and recall any preceding events and chronicle my journey forward as a reluctant medium.

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